S5 E5: Boys will be boys (pt 3) Double Standards

S5 E5: Are children being unnecessarily (and prematurely) sexualized?

We have almost all seen the instruction for school or church sponsored events, “Girls must wear a one-piece swimsuit, or if wearing a two-piece swimsuit a t-shirt must be worn”. While seemingly noble, and probably well-intentioned, these types of policies/instructions establish disparity for girls and women at a very young age. So, let’s unpack this topic. 

1. Sexualization of girls from a young age- a societal ill. Probably the worst part of this directive is that it originates from the sexualization of girls from a very young age. Generally, most parents are going to strive for modesty when dressing their daughters. Even in situations where a girl may be more exposed than is “modest” or “appropriate” should they be sexualized? The answer, of course, is no. So why do we accept that as normal by creating rules that only girls have to follow?

2. Disparity-
   1. Why do girls have to cover up and not boys? Summer after summer, flocks of boys descend upon pools, lakes, and beaches donning bare chests and abs. They are not told or expected to cover up. There is no requirement for them to put on a t-shirt. They can wear nothing but a speedo and goggles, and no one bats an eye.  
   2. What message are we sending our girls?
      1. That the onus is on them to maintain “dignity” and “modesty”
      2. That they are accountable for boys’ thoughts and actions. This is early conditioning to be the perfect victim. 
   3. What message are we sending our boys?
      1. They don’t have to be responsible for their own thoughts or actions. 
      2. There are different rules for them than for girls.
   4. What message are we sending parents?

As the mother of boys I am appalled by this. We are told we must teach our boys to be better. Despite our efforts we are still told that our boys are not trusted with their own instincts and reactions, and time after time our boys are placed in situations by adults where they are not held accountable for their behavior. 

As a mom of girls it feels like the message is that there are boys around every corner waiting to attack our daughters if they show the least bit of skin. As long as my girls are comfortable in what they are wearing f@!# how anyone else feels about it.

3. Long term and big picture, what is the outcome of this? 

We have created a society that is founded on chauvinism. How many times have we heard stories of being assaulted, and in such instances the first question asked is “What was she wearing” as if the answer could somehow justify a gross violation of another person. 

For a less extreme, but equally appalling example, look no further than our legislative bodies. Across the nation we have seen legislatures, composed mostly of men, passing prohibitive laws related to women’s bodies and choices. These laws are written with complete immunity for men and their part in the respective issues the laws are intended to address, while stripping away the liberties of women. Unfortunately, these men were taught at a young age that women are incapable of making their own decisions, especially when the decision may make someone else uncomfortable. 

#parenting #parentingporcupines #libertarian #libertarianmoms #libertarianparents #libertarianparenting #momlife #momtourage #boyswillbeboys