main idea: using this phrase to excuse inappropriate behavior we are telling our kids that personal responsibility and accountability vary by gender, and that one gender has some right to be toxic simply for being that gender
In Season 2 Ep 13 we discussed the topic of consent in what was the first episode of this series titled “Boys will be boys”. In that episode we focused primarily on teaching our kids the importance of what consent means.
In this episode we want to focus specifically on what happens when society uses the age-old adage “boys will be boys” to dismiss predatory behaviors, and how it is not only harmful to society as a whole, but to boys and girls alike. By using this phrase to excuse inappropriate behavior we are telling our kids that personal responsibility and accountability vary by gender, and that one gender has some right to be toxic simply for being that gender.
In January 2015 on the campus of Stanford University, Brock Turner sexually assaulted Chanel Miller while she was unconscious. Thankfully there were two other students who witnessed the assault and intervened to stop him and make sure he was taken into custody by authorities. This young man’s sentence was a mere 6 months in jail (released after only 3 of them), 3 months probation, and registration as a sex offender on the State’s Registry. That’s it, because he was a “strong athlete” and a “good boy”, and hey- boys will be boys, right?
More recently, during his confirmation, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh faced an onslaught of controversy over claims that he had sexually assaulted Christine Blasey Ford while he was a student at Yale. Hey- boys will be boys, right?
- Are your kids aware of these issues, and how often they happen?
- As moms with pubescent and prepubescent children, what conversations are we having?
- Boy Moms?
- Girl Moms?
Yes, boys absolutely will be boys. They will do stupid things to impress their friends, which will often times result in injury. They will be impulsive and obnoxious. They will eat dirt, catch frogs, and ride bikes. “Being a boy” ABSOLUTELY does NOT include or excuse being a rapist.
At the end of the day we have a responsibility to our children and one another, regardless of whether you are raising boys, girls, or both, to teach our kids boundaries and respectful behaviors, and to hold them accountable to those expectations.